A Letter to My Friend

 Hey old friend,

I hope everything is going well where you are at. I am sorry I have been out of touch for so long.
Time has a habit of passing us by and we don’t stop and try to slow it down, not that we can, and focus on what is and has been important to us, friends and family. We get stuck in a bubble, no excuses here. My bubble encircled me with my family, job, and school that I decided to go back and try to finish.
So once again, I do apologize, and although I can’t bring back the times I missed. I can update you the old-fashioned way, a letter my friend. We should know how this works as we were buddies before technology.

So, an update on the kids.
JD grew up to be quite a man. He towers over me and because he works out every day can probably pick me up with one bicep. At 39 he has a family of his own with three wonderful children, his oldest got married last year and the twins will be graduating soon. 
You never had the chance to get to know our other three, but I'll tell you about them anyway. Our oldest daughter, 9 years younger than JD, is 30 now and she has four daughters of her own as well as a great husband.  They live in a small town in Illinois about 1.5 hours south of Chicago, loving the Midwestern small town life. They enjoy chickens, gardening and canning everything they grow. You would like their place as it is big enough to let the animals roam about, and yes have some pigeons.
Our next one, MB, 29 years old, has done well. He is back in school and has been working the same job for about 10 years. But he wants to branch out and fulfill his dream, so back to school it is. He hasn’t quite settled down and started a family yet, but one of these days. Julie and I look forward to that day. 
Our youngest DR, 27, is married to a wonderful man who like MS’s husband, takes very good care of her. They have 3 children of their own and live in Spokane, where we were. All our grandkids are the sweetest kids anyone could ask for. You would be very impressed by how the kids turned out as grownups. I Credit Julie’s efforts and of course having smarter than normal kids so they knew what was right and wrong. She is a good mama and Mimi (grandma).
You remember, I was away quite a bit, working away from home when the kids were young, but when DR was born, I made the decision to stay home and find a new job. I tried a couple things but ended up in the IT world.
You should remember that because I came over to work on your old computer up on the hill. Boy, the XP days, LOL.
Last time we visited, Julie and I were still working our own business in Spokane. But it took a toll on me, as I was still doing IT work for that healthcare outfit and once again traveling all over, and rarely home. So, we closed the business and sold the equipment. Yeah, sometimes I miss being independent, but don’t miss the hard labor at our age.

I truly enjoyed the times me and Julie would stop by completely out of the blue and surprise you. We would sit around your house and reminisce about the old times. We would have a few (sometimes a lot) beers and laugh at some of the stupid stuff we did when it was just you and me. Yeah, as time went on, we didn’t make memories anymore, but the kickin’ back at your house became our memories.
You know, you were never very good about answering your phone after a while. As a matter of fact, it seemed to be disconnected around 2019 or so. I knew you didn’t own the bar anymore and hadn’t for many years, so thought it pointless to look for you there.
When Covid hit hard in 2021, I was pulled off the traveling and started working remotely. I seemed to have a lot more time, so I was able to reach out but had no luck in catching up with you like old times. Oh jeez, here I’ve been doing it again, running on about what I have been doing. I will pause here for you to tell me what is new with you.                                  

Mark,  I have always asked one thing, why don’t you ever call me. I have had the same cell phone number since 2006, and before that I had the same number for many years. I would always call you, or stop by your house.  Well, neither here nor there.

In 2022 my oldest daughter    started to help me search and we still came up with the same three disconnected phone numbers. I knew you wouldn’t move because you had your grandmother’s house. 
By February 2024 I dug in and decided to pay for a service to help locate you.
I ran a service, and it gave me your brother’s number(s), as well as a couple names I recognized that you were associated with. I mean I wasn’t stalking or anything, but I knew it was time we got together to catch up again.
So I called your brother and left a message, wasn’t sure he would remember me, we only met a few times over the years. Then I called another number, wasn’t sure I knew the name, but did it anyway. No answer again, so I left a message, who I was, how I knew you, and was trying to contact you.
About 5 minutes later Kathy called me back. I met Kathy many years ago, and I vaguely remembered her because she came along after I got married to Julie. So, I introduced myself again. She knew me, she said you had told her many of our stories. We talked for a while and cried even longer.
I still cry Mark.
Damn-it, you were always so stubborn. I should’ve been there, I should have been less selfish and tried harder to find you.
I remember in October of 2020 I was off trying to save the IT world in Fullerton, California. Not knowing of your suffering or that you had lost the battle. Kathy said you were still talking about a couple things you and I had done years earlier while you were laying in the hospital.

We did get into some mischief, didn’t we?  I never knew, but I should have. I would have been there. I’m so sorry old buddy. I miss you.

Say hi to Jay for me, and hey, if you see my dad would you hug him for me?
He joined you in 2022.

I Love you Dude
Forever your friend,
Darrell